DNC to Biden: Take one for Team Hillary

BREAKING: The following is a leaked transcript of a call between Democratic National Committee Chair Debbie Wasserman Schultz & Vice President Joe Biden. 

This is what those people look like
……………………………………..This is what those people look like


*ring-ring* *ring-ring* *ring-ring*

Joe: Yo, Biden residence, ‘sup?

Debbie: Hello, Mr. Vice President. It’s Debbie. How are you?

Joe: Good, good—FUCK! Or I would be if these lil’ fuckers stopped trollin’ my fuckin’ respawn. So who dis is? Continue reading “DNC to Biden: Take one for Team Hillary”

Scott Walker for President!

Walker-Campaign-Logo1

The real David Koch unsurprisingly signaled his support for a Walker presidency way back in April, but now that ol’ Scooter’s made it official (never mind Friday’s premature announcement—seriously, never happened, not his fault, moving along), it’s time for the fake David  Koch—you know, me!—to weigh in on what the media will certainly bill: “The Most Important Election Ever!” Ain’t they all? Continue reading “Scott Walker for President!”

FUNINTIMIDATED

The following is an excerpt from Unintimidated by Scott Walker with Marc Thiessen. Can you find all the lies? There’s a bunch!

In this book cover image provided by publisher Penguin Group, Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker's book "Unintimidated," is seen. The book, to be released publicly on Nov. 19, 2013, comes as Walker prepares to run for re-election next year and is considering a run for president in 2016. (AP Photo/Penguin Group) ORG XMIT: CER301

Chapter 11
“The Power of Humility, the Burden of Pride”


On Tuesday, February 22, I decided to go over the heads of the press and take my case directly to the citizens of our state. We scheduled a televised fireside address from the capitol. It was a chance to counter the passions of the protesters and personally explain why collective bargaining reform was necessary.

I began by making clear my respect for public workers. “In 1985, when I was a high school junior in the small town of Delavan, I was inspired to pursue public service after I attended the American Legion’s Badger Boys State program,” I said. “Tonight, I thank the three hundred thousand-plus state and local government employees who showed up for work today and did their jobs well. We appreciate it. If you take only one message away tonight, it’s that we all respect the work that you do.”

I then went on to explain why our reforms were necessary: Continue reading “FUNINTIMIDATED”